I recently found myself watching a movie from the 90s — Green Card. Why do clothes from the previous decade look about a million times weirder and more old fashioned than clothes from, say, the 70s, or even the 40s? Because people in the 90s dressed like crap.
I can see what you're hoping for here, Suzanne. You're hoping that I'm going to spin out some theory about how the near past is a distant country and the distant past is a familiar comfort; but no, that's just not how we're rolling today.
Maybe that sub-Douglas Adams guff has a kernel of truth therein, but all truisms, generalities and useful lessons to be gleaned full stop do not fly when talking about the 90s, aka the land that taste forgot. See, the thing about the 90s was not so much a question of good taste versus bad taste as simply no taste at all.
This is true in relation to music any decade that hosted 2Unlimited, The Crash Test Dummies and 4 Non-Blondes has lost its right to voice any kind of opinion whatsoever, The 90s were weird Schmirvana but The 90s were weird arguably even more true in relation to fashion. You may not approve of the effect, but it's hard not to admire the boldness.
Looking at outfits from the The 90s were weird, the only thought that appears to be going on is, "Hmm, maybe if my skirt ends just one inch lower in the middle of my calf it will look even more unflattering.
Ooh, and let's match it up with a badly-fitted blouse, some clumpy low-heeled sandals, and then finish it all off with a strange floppy hat. I wish I could explain what happened here.
Naked the 90s were weird porn base
My formative years were lived through that decade, and I don't understand it. Even when you see an allegedly hot young woman on 90s TV — Jennifer Love Hewitt on Party of Five, say — she is wearing jeans that suggest mirrors did not exist in that decade, and a top that has the strong smack of a home economics experiment gone very wrong.
And in some ways, I love the decade for that. I mean, how totally awesome that dressing like one's batty aunt was apparently no impediment to being the hottie of one's high school.
And now I must issue a final caveat. You are referring specifically to Andie MacDowell, whose career only a conspiracy theory can possibly explain.
Mediocrity goes well with mediocrity, does it not? Which would explain the mentality behind pretty much all 90s style.
We all know about the dreaded comb-over, but I've been noticing a growing number of comb-forwards. Is this a trend among balding men today?
Yes, clever, do you not think? Now that many of our tonsorially challenged friends have at last cottoned on to the fact that growing two of their few strands of hair extra long The 90s were weird then greasing it over their scalp is unlikely to result in any requests for modelling in a Pantene advert, some have lit upon the novel idea of growing the front strands longer and brushing them back in a rather striking quiff-like effect to cover their dreaded patch.
Oh, my gentlemen friends! Why do you do this to yourselves? There is nothing wrong with a glint of skin, truly.
I see comb-overs the way I see plastic surgery: You don't look luxuriantly haired, you just look bald yeah — I said it. De-comb yourselves, my friends, and snip those errant strands! The 90s were weird then run through fields, throwing off garments as you go and shouting, "I am a man! And I am bald! And I will never comb-over again!
Suzanne, by email Because people in the 90s dressed like crap. I mean, how totally awesome that dressing like one's batty aunt was apparently no impediment to being the hottie of one's high school And now I must issue a final caveat.