To avoid sleeping with a total jerk or a great guy before you're readyfile these questions to ask a guy before having sex in your "to-do-before-bed" checklist. Despite what movies tell us, there's no hard and fast rule about when you should have sex with your new guy for the first time.
Maybe it's five minutes after you meet him, or maybe it's after marriage—no judgment! But no matter how long you wait, there are some questions you need to ask both your partner and yourself before you get in bed. Some are obvious—almost everybody knows to ask about STIs and birth control, and it makes sense to have a conversation about where the relationship is going.
But other questions aren't as straightforward. For example, how do you ask a guy you've just met whether he's an arrogant jerk who's selfish in bed?
But that doesn't mean you can't figure it out with a few less direct questions. We talked to the experts, including a former CIA officer, to figure out what answers you need before you get intimate with him—and what the right questions are to see the red flags.
STIs are serious business, and that means that you can't gloss over the topic just because it doesn't match the mood, says human sexuality researcher Nicole Prause, Ph. So the sex questions need to get pretty explicit! Get tested yourself, and the conversation will be much easier. Corbis Images Even if this is just a casual relationship, you want to know if he's seeing other women.
And you should, says Herbenick, because—jealousy aside—it's important to know what kind of situation you might be getting yourself into. Most of us assume if a guy is dating he isn't betrothed, but, well, we've all heard the stories. Sure, a married guy probably isn't going to come right out and admit it, but by asking him directly, you'll put him on the spot enough that he won't be able to lie smoothly, either.
Ask this question in a joking manner, and then you can use it as a stepping stone to say, "No, but seriously, are you seeing other women? According to this Infidelity Surveycheating is way more common among married couples than you might think. Do You Like Your Job?
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